Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
