Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
