His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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