I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
