i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
