no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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