The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
