My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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