remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
