I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do vagina's smell?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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