"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
