dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
