i permit you to call me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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