You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
