My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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