Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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