And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize