we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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