Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
