i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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