i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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