Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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