just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
