We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
