And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's rum buckets o'clock
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
