I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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