You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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