I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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