my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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