Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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