To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
