loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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