He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just pee around me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
