Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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