Acid is not a monday night drug
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
