weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
