I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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