Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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