he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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