spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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