I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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