I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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