Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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