I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
