Christians are straight up FREAKS
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
