Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
