Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Did you just see the Batmobile???
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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