Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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