Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you win again, gameday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
