her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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