he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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