and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
