I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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