youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
