My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
