The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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