Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
