Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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