Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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