i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
